I know that I mess up, alot. & If I could repeat the same sentence, over & over again, for the rest of my life, you already know which one it'd be: I'm a complicated girl to deal with. Yet I still can't give you enough credit for everything that you do for me; whether it be big or small.




I wish I could suck the romance out of every love movie & credit it to my own creativity. But let's face it, I'm about as smooth as sandpaper.

I wish I saved every meaningful conversation I've had with Ryan Tupaz. To those who actually know his personality, you'd probably think that I'd have zero saved, but I was pretty surprised myself.

I never see him. Our plans of hanging out always fall through. The only reason he remembers my birthday is because it's the day before his. Our dads golf together every other Sunday of the month. Despite all these far-fetched circumstances, it's never awkward whenever I get a random IM from him. Actually, I like it when he does. It sparks interest for the sake of conversation; nothing more, nothing less.


ayo (2:34:42 AM): so how's life treating you
RIZ (2:34:55 AM): like
RIZ (2:35:02 AM): fuck i forgot the line
RIZ (2:35:03 AM): w.e
RIZ (2:35:15 AM): life doesnt treat me...i treat life
RIZ (2:35:34 AM): and its the way i treat life that shows what kind of life im supposed to have
ayo (2:35:54 AM): wow
RIZ (2:35:54 AM): im talking outta my ass right now, but that made sense
RIZ (2:36:00 AM): and it sounded sophisticated
ayo (2:36:03 AM): it actually did
ayo (2:36:08 AM): are you half-high?
ayo (2:36:09 AM): lol
RIZ (2:36:12 AM): i deno
RIZ (2:36:14 AM): i think im good
RIZ (2:36:25 AM): its been like fucking 8 hrs already
ayo (2:36:30 AM): haha
ayo (2:37:21 AM): you're an interesting person
ayo (2:37:28 AM): that's a good thing
ayo (2:37:30 AM): so don't get mad
ayo (2:37:31 AM): lol
RIZ (2:37:31 AM): lol
RIZ (2:37:35 AM): i wont get mad
RIZ (2:37:38 AM): not if its coming from you
ayo (2:37:42 AM): why me
RIZ (2:37:50 AM): cause youre kayleen
RIZ (2:37:52 AM): everythings good.


You can learn from the very minuscule of things in your life. Start to appreciate them.

It's 3AM, & what better thing to do than to make resumes to submit for endless amounts of jobs that I've been applying to? SIKE. I made one back in VHHS for my business class, but it was bullshit I pulled out just for the grade. Now I wish I would've kept it saved somewhere on this laptop, because it's proves handy right about now. Fk my life.

So far, I've submitted an application to H&M & Uniqlo. I'm still debating whether or not I want to goto open interviews for American Apparel, which is held every Thursday & Sunday. Honestly, I'm very intimidated by the thought of it. Maybe I'll drag Tuy along with me this week, that is, if he's willing enough to emerge from his dorm & into the sunlight.

So, we have a mouse in the apartment.. & I don't think I've ever kept a broom so close to me in my life. Damnit, I wish it were one of Jon & Leila's friendly hamsters crawling around instead. :(

Off to bed. Insomnia, ftl.

This feels nice. Waking up to find myself alone in the apartment, nothing but the sounds of NY1 news anchors' voices coming from the TV in the living room. Karryn's at school, mom & Kuya went to the bank & run errands. Me? I'm sitting all cozy at home, typing away & eating leftover Japanese food from Narita (yum, even after heating it up). I was listening to the weather report earlier, & I smiled when I found out the temperature isn't even going to peak over 70 today. You guys have no idea how long I've been anticipating some chilly, autumn weather. Although flaming hot beach weather is nice, I actually grew sick & tired of it.

I never realized how big of an impact music has on me. It's now become a second nature kind of thing, because when I leave my house everyday, the essentials are as followed: wallet, keys, eyeliner, iPod. If I'm missing one thing, I'm basically fked for the rest day. Well, turns out on Monday when I went to have dinner at my Ninang's house, I forget that poor, beat-up & aged iPod nano at her place. I never had the chance to go & pick it up until Wednesday, but until then I felt like something was missing. I was on the Q45 on Tuesday, & even though the bus had about 20 conversations all going on at once, to me it seemed so quiet & awkward.

While we're on the subject, I want a drum set. Badly. I guess my addiction for Rockband (I want Rockband 2 to come out already, the drum set looks siiickk!) too it a step further when I went to Guitar Center earlier this week. Karryn & I entertained ourselves for a good hour & a half, just trying to keep a simple beat without looking like dumbasses. & I got the hang of it, & I swear it didn't sound bad at all. (: I heard Jason has an electric drum set in his basement, flippin' sweeeeeet.

Common & NERD concert at Roseland Ballroom, this coming October 4th! I want to go sooo badly. I was looking up location & available tickets online yesterday, & the price ranges from $42-$120. God damn, I also need to find company to go with. Any down? Seeing Pharell in concert is pretty high up on my list of things to do in my lifetime. ;D

Okay, time to get ready. I still have to dig up all of my packed windbreakers & hoodies, buahaha. Oh & Leila, I'm still working to get my RSS feed enabled. Any help would be appreciated, but until then I'll just tear Blogspot up. Wish me luck.

Comments, enabled.

Archive, enabled.

Switching up the layout, done deal.

It's still looking a bit boring, but that's because I don't have any Photoshop to spice things up. Plus, I'm extremely lazy. But in the mean time, enjoy, comment, & subscribe. I love feedback, even if it's bullshit. Lol.

Well, I'm off to bed. Tmrw will probably be my 15th attempt at waking up early & actually get myself motivated enough to go jogging.

Quick update. To start things off, word to getting Leila & Karryn on Blogspot, lol.

Tell me how ridiculous getting a driving ticket is. I have to cough up $115 just for standing near a bus stop? I never knew the depth of my road rage until last Wednesday. My blood boiled as I watched the traffic officer write up my violation, & I was screaming on the inside. Now that I think about it, the situation was a pretty fked up one, because 1) it wasn't even my car I was driving, 2) my only source of income to pay it off is by selling sneakers. Yeah, laugh it up, it's hilariously sad.

I hate how the weather fluctuates in temperature. We've had a hurricane hit us (I think? Or so it seemed like one), then nice, laid-back chilly weather, then humidity, & now disgusting, sticky summer weather. & I heard tmrw it's going to be cold, wtf! I'm honestly done with wearing shorts & tanktops & wanting to wear hoodies & jackets again. Fall, where the fk are you at.

Damn, it's already 142AM & I'm still awake. I told myself that starting this week, I'm going to take charge of my situation & break these old, bad, bummy habits. Sleeping at normal consistent times, stop eating at unusual hours of the day, & starting up on my workout routine again. Yeah, I said it, working out. I set my alarm to 9AM tmrw so I could go jogging, harhar. Leila was also nice enough to call me, letting me know that this small restaurant by Jon's house called "New York Eats" is looking for experienced waitresses. I'm going to check it out to see if I like the environment, & hopefully get started up on a job again real soon. Although I have to admit, I'm itching to land a job in retail, a store that I shop in so I can juice out that employee discount, LOL.

Okay, that should be enough for now. & This layout is annoying me, time to tinker with Blogspot codes yet again!


PS, I'm going to call you out Mr. Kevin Lloyd Balingcongan. Come correct & tell me your Blogspot, creeper! The next text you send me, I expect a username. Kthanks, have a nice day.

Personality assessment tests & Craigslist kill my self-esteem.

In a nutshell, Applebee's didn't turn out to be the job suited for me. Well, I mean the food industry is what I got used to, all thanks to Ihop. But I believe that no matter what the scenario is, nothing is ever worth it if you're completely miserable. Working at an upscale, popular dinner restaurant is guaranteed cash flow. But if I want to strangle my coworkers & tape the manager's mouth shut ever second I stand in their presence, then I'm obviously somewhere I don't need to be. Ever since I decided to stop dragging my sorry ass to work at Applebee's, it leaves little ol' me unemployed.

Fun & Freedom? Hardly.

I live a very uneventful life as of right now, being without a job & without school. As sick as it sounds, I actually envy those of you who have class & homework. Trust me, there is such a thing as TOO MUCH relaxation. I'm probably saying this now, because I tend to always want what I don't have. Once Winter semester rolls around & I'm balancing between homework, a job, the boyfriend, family, & personal time, I'm going to wish I could sleep all day. But, believe it or not, I'd rather be kept busy & occupied as opposed to just taking up space.

So this leaves me with my only option: job-hunting. My brother, who works at Red Lobster, was kind enough to put in a good name for me at his job. He snagged me an opportunity to apply as a hostess, so like any grateful sister & jumped at the chance of new income. Turns out I fail the assessment test, which is mandatory to pass in order to be considered for hire. What sucks is that when I applied to Applebee's, I failed their assessment test as well (the interviewer just gave me the benefit of the doubt & hired me anyway). I know it really wasn't that big of a deal, but c'mon. I practically stormed my away across the street, trying to keep a calm & collected attitude. I was more disappointed rather than mad. Oh well. I heard that he's going to try & score me a second chance, but even at that I still feel.. insecure? It's not the exact word I thinking of to describe what I'm feeling, but it'll do for now.

I'm thinking of expanding my horizons of jobs & debating whether to branch away from the whole restaurant biz. I actually applied to a bunch of office assistants & receptionist positions-- from what I've seen & heard, the hourly pay is pretty sweet. I just spent the last hour combing through listings upon listings, emailing to inquire about job openings. I've also thought of applying to retail clothing stores, just to open up more options. My first impressions on sales associates isn't really a positive one (can you say, "clothing maid"?), but you never know until you find out.

So wish me luck, because I need as much of it as I can get. Selling whats left of my sneaker collection can only cover for my expenses for so long. -_- Hopefully, I can find a job opportunity that's out there for me, an opportunity other than the food industry.



By the way, I applied to a coffee shop as well. I couldn't help myself, old habits die hard.

So it really got me thinking.. Does my attitude adjustment that I took on ever since I left Chicago really reflect on my face? I mean, those who know me well enough, they've already eased up to the way I am. I'm genuinely a nice person, very open-minded & laidback. But with that, I also take no bullshit as it comes. Seriously, I have absolutely zero tolerance for it. I guess this past week, it concerns me whether or not I walk around looking like I want to rip someone's head clearly off their shoulders. Trust me, I don't!

Earlier tonight I was browsing around Facebook, you know, all the productive things that I do day by day (haha, SIKE). & Of course, I run into a few profiles that make me giggle sarcastically. Like, really now? Do these people realize how stupid they look? Prime example is my upstairs neighbor, & I won't say anything more because Miss Ghetto Mami Princess might cut me. (LOL! Give me a break.) I then move onto other people who's acceptance into my friend's list is very questionable.. Like certain girls I'm not too fond of; younger ones seem to annoy me the most. I find it hilarious how I still continue to blow off a majority of these people, & they feed off that shit. I love it.

The bottom line is to really not get on my bad side, bluntly put. I could ramble for days on about the quirks people do that make me grind my teeth, but what's the sense in that? It doesn't get anyone anywhere, complete waste of time. I guess it's just this filter system I've developed: some people & the bullshit they bring with them are just a waste of time. Why would I bother with something I could simply do without?

I'm not a bitch. I'm just uninterested, point blank.

..But if you do see me walking down the street & we're cool peoples (there's a distinct difference as to whether I like you or not, haha), don't hesistate to say hi! I love random incounters with friends. Harhar.

Muy interesante.



To be continued, once everything is all figured out & set up, that is.