Post Secret.

I don't know why, but this just inspired me to try it the next time I'm behind the wheel. Har har.

One Thousand & One.

This has got to be the cutest thing ever.

#413:
"Someone who thinks it's cute when I accidentally drool on them while sleeping."



I could swear half of this shit is true. It takes the cheesiness out of romance, yet still let's you appreciate love. Hookay, sappy sentimental moment - EXIT STAGE LEFT.

Dear God, please grant me the determination & motivation to make me attend Math class tmrw. Although I'd rather take a nice cat nap after breakfast, all this cutting is going to catch up to me & bite me in the ass.

Asdfghjkl.

Beautiful day out, yet I'm in the ugliest mood. I should've just went to school today, fuck.

Breaking barriers.

I'm convinced more & more each day that we're all put into limits of our lifestyle. Although I can't complain about the situation I'm in, I've always been the one to strive for something more if I truly believed there was something out there with greater opportunity. I hate how stubborn I am to when it comes to terms of forcing myself to be content, when I'm clearly not. Perfect example, quitting jobs that I grow to dislike.

Pushing limits give me a guilty conscious - why can't I settle & be thankful for the things provided, instead of being a brat & wanting more?

Queensborough has lost my interest completely, & the Spring semester hasn't even finished. The negative connotation people put on community colleges has seeped into my brain, which led to me slacking off. That, & an unnecessarily late Spring break. I just wish the next semester will be quick & painless, so I can be on my way to transferring out - where exactly, I'm not too sure yet. This is another perfect example. I'm grateful for the fact that my mom is putting me through school, but looking at the tired & gloomy campus makes me feel the same way - tired & gloomy.

There's got to be more to life than this. I need to make moves, & I've got to pick up the pace. Summer, where you at?

Ink isn't erasable.

Mmm, I'm not too sure what to think about this. The whole procedure itself sounds shady - letting a bunch of guys in lab coats take your skin DNA & growing some for you? Slap it on your arm, stitch it up in a seamless fashion, & BAM - a perfectly clean slate.

What's going to happen to his arm hair? What if the skin loosens, becomes transparent, or (God forbid) starts to wear away? It'd be completely disgusting & potentially ruin his already sexified image. Guess we'll have to just wait & see.

Other than that, how fkin adorable is he in the interview. Swoooooon.

Feel good vibes.

On a sucky, rainy day. Classic.

Sunny, high of 75 degrees

Spring weather, lemme hollllllerr.

Aside from bangin' ass sunshine, I still have yet to get started on that 8-page final paper due this coming Tuesday. FML

Selfish isn't part of my vocabulary.

I don't know why I always subject myself to more stress than I already juggle. & In retrospect, these things all together don't even seem too stressful at all - but the fact that I let things build up emotionally in me, that's when it takes a toll on my system. I put effort into getting things done around the house - playing "substitute mom" is an everyday ritual to me. I maintain the apartment while my mom is in Jersey City working, so that when she's home & exhausted from what the day has brought her she has less things to worry about. An empty sink & dish rack. A maintained living room. Making sure there's cooked rice for dinner. Having the place all tidied up & presentable, because coming home to a clean house does wonders on the stress meter - trust me, it's a proven theory.

A common situation I find myself getting all worked up for is the dishes. We've established that it's understood that we take turns in washing random dishes that get left in the sink. At times I dump my plates & ditch, but every now & then I gather everything up & wash them. Take note, I do the dishes out of the goodness of my heart (haha, I couldn't find a better way to put it). Kuya & Karryn on the other hand, only start to get off their butts & move after being told to do so. That's the things that bothers me the most - you complain about always being nagged at, yet you do nothing to change or make the situation better. Or not even that, why not do something around the house to help alleviate the stress for mom? Instead of being royalty & expecting life to hand you things on a silver plate, why not earn something for yourself?

FK THIS. It's amazing how my temper went from 0 to 60 in a matter of 2 paragraphs writing this. There's just too much on my plate for any of this shit to make sense.

Aww, shit.

Torn.

A part of me says it's all my fault,
A part of me says it ain't what I want.
A part of me says to get my bags,
A part of me says I can't do that.

We all get over things in time, right? A guilty conscious was always another weakness of mine, yet I find myself caught up in a tangle of mess. Ugh, just got'a suck it up & tough it out as they say.



Time to clean up the junk I made out of things. I'll get over it.

Nike stopped slackin'.

DROOL. I stumbled across these in the mall, & first thing that caught my attention was the Nike tag on the tongue. They're sooo effin' cute in smaller sizes. These days with the whole sneaker scene going nuts, I strayed away from Nike.. But I can't pass up a decent pair of sneaks. Tax refund, where art thou?


Thanks Hypebeast.

From your sister.

"Having a brother like you
has taught me alot of things..

That laughter is good for the spirit.

That forgiveness is good for the soul.

That relationships are very resilient.

That sisters might as well be,
if they want to survive.

That time really does fly.

That memories improve with age.

That people can surprise you,
& not just by jumping out from behind doors.

Having a brother like you has taught me
that life is amazing,

love is enduring,

& that family is forever."

For birthdays, I usually pick out comical cards for my siblings. But for this year, on my Kuya's 20th birthday, I decided to pick out something sentimental without being too.. gay. I feel this year I were to change the pace, since he is no longer a teenager from here on. I wish him the best in life & to keep his head up through everything - that through determination & the small blessings God has given us, he'll mold his future into something amazing. Happy 20th birthday, Kuya. (:


Aside from that, check out husband numero tres doing his thang. Aooooowhh. I need to start going back to the Bronx & take Rhythm City classes again. I've been slackin' on some shit.

Under construction.

I hate hate HATE Blogspot coding - help, anyone? :(

Wordboner.

April Showers, suckanut.

Library loungin' on the iTouch since I decided to study for my next 2 exams, so I figured I'd leave my laptop at home for the day. Shows how much that helped, considering I'm blogging instead of reviewing over my notes, haha. It's so bad, my brain is kicked into vacation mode, even though there's still 2 days left til vacation. I want to totally skip Spring break & have it go into Summer! :(

Damn, I really can't say I've been doing too much. I swear, my mentality is on total slack off mode, & thinking about it now I kind of screwed myself over by agreeing to work Monday to Friday of spring break at the chiropractor's office. On one end, it's 5 days of working 230-730pm, which means I won't get to enjoy the sunlight. On the other end, the rate is $10/hour. Hmmm.. Good things come to those who wait, but only the things left over by those who hustle.

It's raining & it's started to seriously fk with my mood. Everything is all nasty & damp, I loathe taking cramped buses in this weather. After class I'm going straight home, hitting the showers then taking a faaat ass nap. Peas.

I'm from a city in the Midwest..

Yeah, definitely did NOT get my go go gadget flow from Chicago.. (Get it? In reference to that Lupe Fiasco song? Get it? Yeah, no? Laaame.) Yesterday was the infamous April Fools, a day that is deemed the only time people can lie out of their ass & not face consequences for it. I never really celebrated the "holiday" faithfully - just last year I totally forgot such foolish things were to be taken place. But this year, I thought hey why not. I put on Twitter & Facebook that I was to move back to Chicago, AGAIN, for my Fall semester of college. It's funny, because my own boyfriend fell for it (but that was your fault, Babe :P).

Speaking of, I can't believe it's been well over a year already. Almost 2 years since I left at that. So much has happened & many things have changed, I feel as if time is slipping through my hands way too quickly. I remember last year around this time, every aspect in my life was taking a turn for the worse - I seem to impress myself when I reminisce, because I still can't believe how resilient I am to change. That's the one thing I'd really have to give myself credit for - when the going gets tough, I get on the grind ye'diiiig. -_- Haha.

I fear for Kuya & what direction (if he has any, at all) he wants to take his life. I give him credit for being mature & taking the semester off as I did, even working majority of the week to occupy his time. But the priorities of time management & where to put money is lacking.. I don't know, everything? I don't know what it's going to take for him to realize that only he himself can straighten up & mature. I guess it was a blessing in disguise that our bank account numbers got mixed up, so I ended up getting his $850 tax refund. Day after day he would beg me to write him a check to transfer out his money, but I didn't write it til yesterday because I wanted him to get a savings account set up. Had I transferred it the day I got it, all that would've been gone. You see, people these days don't tend to get off their ass & do things until they're pushed out of their comfort zone.

Bleh, but enough about me ranting.. As of lately, the whole school business has been getting the best of me. Well, not completely, but my brain has already kicked into slack-off, vacation mode due to the long awaited Spring break. I manage to keep up with my work though, but that's because I do everything the night before it's due (aside from that damn English paper.. Whoops). Then again, it's already Thursday, so just 4 more days of class & I should be home freeeeee. I'm working that Monday to Friday of break, but I can't complain. I need to get my cake back up!

Wednesday is the day I get out earliest from school, so Nicky picked me up at around 1230pm & then drove back to Elmhurst. We took the train to West 4th & met up with James, who I haven't seen in what seemed like forever. Gray's Papaya, vinyl shopping, & walking along the Village/Lower East Side was definitely something I needed. Not to mention all of the laughs & inside jokes, it gave my abs a good work out. I was in awe while fanning through the crates filled with old school vinyls - I swear, I'd buy a record player just so I could jam out & listen to them. The aesthetics of every shop we went to fascinated me everytime. It felt like the hip-hop scene from back in the day, when garbage wasn't being played on the radio.

It's been about an hour & Kathleen still hasn't called me. Waiting up for her to finish her placement test here at QCC, then most likely drag her to eat somewhere since I'm staaarving. Well, I'm off to do some more time-killing. Til next time.